Tainted Innocence
by ArwenTurner
Summary: This is a hard one to summarise, sorry. Hermione is raped, and is tormented daily by the memory. She can't turn to her friends or her boyfriend...she can't even look at herself... --WARNINGS FOR RAPE AND SUICIDE, more details inside.--
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1.**_  
  
AN...This is my first attempt at a...sort of serious story. I don't know how this will turn out...ones I've read can be good...if well written...but if they're not well written...it's horrible to read, so I'm going to try and deal with this in a sensitive way...as rape is a sensitive subject, as I know all too well...so warnings before reading....  
  
On, and please note, that the raper in this story isn't named, and isn't ever going to be named. I don't even know who he is. I don't like naming familiar characters as rapists, so this is just a random student. I know at certain parts in the story you may be suspicious of some characters, but be assured, it's not them.  
  
-Edit- Ok. After much deliberation, I've decided to put up this fic. I struggled majorly with the title too.. I'm still not entriely happy with 'Tainted Innocence'.....Anyway. It's up now, so warnings before reading, as mentioned above.-/Edit-  
  
-----  
_  
Hermione sat curled in a chair in the common room, facing into the fire, staring blankly into its fiery depths. She was numb, mentally and physically. She couldn't cry...all she wanted to do was cry...but the tears wouldn't come. It was 1 o'clock in the morning, and the common room was empty. Many thoughts tried to run through her head, but they all faded away...everything was blank. She sat like that all night. The notion to sleep didn't cross her. She didn't go upstairs, nor did she fall asleep in the chair. She simply sat there, staring into the fire, which slowly died out as Saturday morning approached.  
  
By 8 o'clock, people started coming down to the common room. She grabbed a book which was lying on the table in front of her and placed it in her lap.  
  
"Hey Hermione...what you doing up so early?" Harry asked.  
  
"I..I..woke up early and came down here to read." She answered, the first signs of life snapping into her since the night before.  
  
"Whatever makes you happy!" He smiled at her. She forced a smile back and joined him and Ron to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was almost surreal...resuming life as normal...when this dark cloud now hung over her, which no-one else could see. On the way downstairs, Ron slipped his hand round Hermione's waist and held her close to him, smiling as he chatted to Harry. Hermione tensed at his touch. Her stomach clenched in...she didn't want his hands on her...but it was stupid...he was her boyfriend...she didn't want him to think anything was wrong, so she inhaled a deep, shaky breath and smiled at him, all the while cursing herself inside.  
  
As they walked into the hall, they were met by Malfoy.  
  
"It makes me sick, Weasley." He snarled.  
  
"Oh leave off, Malfoy!" Ron exclaimed, hugging a wincing Hermione tighter.  
  
"Even scum like you, Weasley!" He laughed to Crabbe and Goyle. "But still, no matter how poor you are...you're still a pure-blood...and that little mudblood girlfriend on your arm..."  
  
"Malfoy!" Ron said, growing increasingly angry, but Harry caught his free arm.  
  
"Leave it Ron, it's not worth it." He said, and ushered him towards the Gryffindor table.  
  
"I know, Harry, I know. But it just drives me mad. He's only got worse since me and Hermione started going out." He smiled at her, who forced a smile back as they sat down. "You're awfully quiet this morning...you ok?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm just tired." She said, hating lying to him. She was in a daze. She lifted his hand from her waist and put it on his own leg. He just smiled and set about getting his plate full. This was what hurt her the most. Lying to Ron. They had been in a relationship for three months now, and it was the happiest she had been in a long time. For the first time since last night, her emotions kicked in. She couldn't stay there with him. She stood up to leave.  
  
"Sorry, I...I'm not hungry...I'm...I'm going back to bed." She stammered. "It's ok Ron, I'll speak to you later." She assured him, and walked quickly out. Once she was out of the Great Hall she ran faster than she ever had in her life, tears now streaming down her face as she ran to the empty girls' dorm and collapsed on her bed in a heap, sobbing her heart out. She felt dirty...she felt it was all her fault. She curled under her covers to protect herself as the memories of the night before came back...she could still smell him, still hear his voice...still feel the horrid sensation of his hands on her body. How could she have let this happen? Why her? Why her? "WHY ME?" She cried out to the empty room, sobbing into her pillow once more. She jumped at the hand which was rested on her shoulder. She sat up abruptly and wiped her face. Lavender was sitting on the edge of Hermione's bed with a concerned look on her face.   
  
"Hermione?" She asked softly. "You ran past me on the stairs."  
  
"Lavender...oh..." She wiped her face again.  
  
"What's wrong Hermione? Did you fight with Ron?" she asked, but couldn't imagine it being true...Hermione and Ron were Hogwarts' perfect couple...  
  
"No, no...It's ok...Really, I'm fine." She forced another fake smile at Lavender and got up, making her bed.  
  
"Hmm....ok, well, I'm not convinced, but if that's all you're saying." Lavender replied with a smile. "Just remember I'm always here if you want to talk."  
  
Hermione smiled at her and left the room. It was nice of Lavender to offer...but Hermione had never felt that close to her, talking to her about anything would be awkward...a small smile escaped her lips as she remembered her embarrassment at telling the girls in the dorm of her first kiss with Ron...Her face fell again. Ron. Ron. One of her best friends...her boyfriend...  
  
She walked into the girls' bathroom and stood, staring at her reflection. The happy memories of girly nights in the dorm seemed so far away. She splashed her face with water and patted it dry with a towel. She stared at her reflection, she stared at every inch of her face, then turned away. She couldn't look at herself anymore. All these emotions in her head were too much...hatred towards herself for not being strong enough to stop it...hatred towards him...anger, guilt, confusion...she wandered over to the window and looked down to the grounds, many floors below. The cool air stung her face where the water hadn't fully dried. The grounds looked so...so normal...she had half expected them to mirror her mood, with wind and rain, and the dark forest...full of secrets...but instead it was a nice early-spring's day. Sunny, but cool, and students were scattered on the grass, laughing and smiling. Another thought came into her mind as she stared to the grass below. How easy it would be...how simple...and all this pain and confusion...would be gone...  
  
She was disturbed by a first year coming into the bathroom. No, she shook her head, hardly believing such a stupid idea had come to her. She wandered back to the common room, where she found Ron and Harry sitting by the fire, playing Wizard's Chess. She sat down beside them. They smiled at her, and continued in their game. She watched them and everything seemed to go in slow motion...Harry's laugh as one of his pieces smashed one of Ron's....Ron pretending to be upset and distressed....Ron casually putting his hand on her leg and smiling at her...it was too much. She couldn't bear to be around them. She shoved Ron's hand off and ran out. "Typical" she thought. She didn't want to be around any boy...and it hurt her that this meant Harry and Ron...the two closest people to her in the world. She didn't know what to do. She went up to the girl's dorms and lay in her bed, and, quite unexpectedly, her tired body was soon consumed by sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**  
  
_AN...I haven't decided when this is set...so when she uses the prefects bathroom...she's not necessarily a 5th year prefect...I know she says Harry told her about it...which can only mean this is set in either 4th or 5th year...but it's a fanfic...I'm the author...anything can happen._  
  
Hermione had slept right through until early the next morning. She woke with a start, drenched in sweat. Her sleep, though long, had been riddled with nightmares...so vivid..so clear. She saw him standing there, saw him approach her...felt his warm hands against her skin...heard his words in her ear...clear as glass...sharp as ice....it was like it had happened all over again. She felt sick as she thought about it. Checking the small clock on her bedside table, she saw that it was 7am, hardly anyone would be up yet. She felt dirtier than she had felt yesterday, but had had no time for a bath. She grabbed her towels and toiletries and made her way to the girls' bathroom, she used the prefect's bathroom this time, which Harry had told her about.  
  
She set down her towels beside the bath and ran the water. She watched it slowly fill up, a small layer of steam floating on the surface. She tested the water with her hand...a little too hot...so she added some cold water. She stood up and started to undress. Tears filled her eyes as she done so...she saw his hands instead of her own...tearing at her buttons...pulling at her skirt. Tears softly rolled down her cheeks as she finished, clothes on the floor...standing by the bath naked. She couldn't look at her body...all she could see was him. She slipped into the water, jumping a little...it was too hot still...but she didn't cool it down. She forced herself against her natural reactions to lie down in the boiling water...she felt somehow as if the hotter water would clean her more...burning his fingerprints off her skin...She re-positioned some of the bubbles to cover her body under the water...she couldn't look at herself, he had destroyed her, although she was yet to realise this fully. Everytime she shut her eyes, she saw his face, smirking at her...saw his hands trailing her body...She thought of Ron...and more tears chased down her cheeks. What was she going to do? She had tried, she had tried to act as normal with him...but she couldn't even be around 't bear his touch...but she couldn't bear to tell him...she didn't want to loose him...she loved him so much...and she loved Harry so much as a friend...but she couldn't even look at them...she saw the face in their faces...she saw him laughing at her...saw him smirking when Ron was smiling at her...he was haunting her. He had stolen so much. Oh yes, he had stolen so much more than the obvious...he had stolen her life. Her whole life. He had stolen her boyfriend...her happiness...her friends...her whole life. And for this she resented him. She cringed as she remembered herself that night...frozen solid...knowing she should run away...call for help...anything...but she couldn't move. She couldn't move.  
  
---  
  
One week later, Hermione, Harry and Ron were in the common room. Yes, she was still awkward at their presence, but she had not been able to tell them, she just forced herself to snap back into her old life...she knew it would seem stupid telling them that she didn't want to be around them, after all, they had done nothing...but there was more than that, they had noticed.  
  
"Hermione, I'm sick of this, what's up? Tell us. You've been distant all week."  
  
"I..I...Ron, can I talk to you?" She said in a small voice. Ron looked confused, but nodded, after all, she was still his girlfriend, whom he loved dearly, and if something was bothering her...he wanted to know.  
  
She took him aside, thankfully it was a warm and sunny day and most of the students were out taking in the sun in the grounds, so the common room was practically empty. She stood with him in the corner of the room.   
  
"Ron...I...I can't...I really don't want to have to say this. I love you so, so much..."  
  
"What...?" Ron asked, his stomach dropping, he knew what was about to happen.  
  
"I...I think we should break up." the words escaped her lips like poison.  
  
"Right." Ron said, trying to keep his cool. "Why?"  
  
"I can't...I...I just...Oh Ron." She looked at him with helpless eyes welling up with tears.   
  
"Hey hey...what's all this?" He asked, as the tears started streaming down her face. He embraced her with a tight hug. "Shh, come on!"  
  
She was freely sobbing into his shoulder now, and she was extremely conscious of his hands on her...stroking her her back...this made her cry even more.  
  
"Hermione! It's ok..." Ron tried to console her...but he didn't know, he just didn't know what was wrong. In his opinion, their relationship was fine, and he didn't know what had happened to make her do this out of the blue.  
  
"Ron...just leave me." She shoved his hands off her and they just stood in front of each other, Ron looking at her, hurt and confused, and Hermione staring at her feet. She slowly walked out of the common room...feeling lower than she had ever felt before...even before the...the...rape. There, she had said it...rape. The word played over and over again in her head. Rape. First that...now she had dumped Ron...who had no idea why....and he was probably standing in the common room confused and concerned. She hated doing that to him, she still loved him...but...everything was so messed up...she walked down the stairs...she looked at the person approaching her in the corridor...and even he looked like...him. His face was moulding into everyone she saw...she looked closer...looked at the smirk on his face and realised...it was him. Walking towards her, with that horrid smirk...she was all alone...with him again...she panicked...she was frozen to the spot. She glanced around her, but there was no-one else there, everyone was in the grounds...it was Sunday.  
  
"Well hello there my little Hermione!" He said. Taunting her with each word...and he knew it. He circled her while he talked to her, making her feel even smaller. She couldn't believe herself for somewhere thinking there was even the slightest chance he'd feel guilty about what he'd done. He was still exactly the same from that night the week before.  
  
"Go away." Her small voice protested.  
  
"Go away? Hahaha." He tossed his head back in an exaggerated laugh. "You're just back for more, aren't you, clever little Hermione!"  
  
"Please..." she started, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"Couldn't get enough of me last time, could you?" He grinned maliciously at her, which made her shudder. "How's your little Weasely? Is he as good to you as I am?"   
  
"Stop it. Stop it." She whispered, helpless, a few tears escaping her eyes.  
  
"Aww, have I made little Hermione upset?" He reached out his hand to her face and she tensed. He put his finger to her cheek and wiped away the tears, trailing his finger down her face and over her mouth, laughing when she shivered at his touch. "We don't want that!" He said. He turned his hand so that his whole hand was covering her mouth now...but he knew she was too paralysed to scream anyway. He kept a firm grip on her as he opened the door to an empty classroom behind them and threw her in and shut the door. She stood, shaking, arms flopped helplessly at her sides as he laughed and approached her.  
  
"Aww, my little Hermione's all scared...look at you...like a little lost girl." He said, standing in front of her. "Now, where were we?" He said, as he raised his hand back to her eyes, which had leaked more tears. He gently ran his hand down her whole face closing her eyes in the process. She didn't dare open them again. The tears stopped as she stood there. She felt his clammy hands creep down towards her waist and slide under her jumper, tracing her belly. "Open your eyes." He commanded, and she reluctantly did so. She let her eyes glaze over and stared at the wall over his shoulder as he continued to abuse her, taunting her with words all along. When he was finished, he threw her back onto a desk, which she stumbled over as she fussed to fix her skirt. "That's what little Hermione gets when little Hermione goes wandering alone. Just can't get enough of me, eh?" he asked, and he walked out, chuckling to himself, shutting the door back behind him and leaving her standing in the silence, shaking violently, still glued to the spot. 


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3.**  
  
It had been two weeks since the second attack. Hermione had changed, everyone had noticed it now, and her false persona was slipping. Most people just assumed it was Exam pressure, which most people were suffering from...they knew how much Hermione cared about exams...but Ron and Harry were the most concerned...they had noticed odd behaviour, and were concerned at how distant she was. They had also noticed she wasn't revising nearly as much as she used to, and this was alarming, as she was usually studying 24/7 in the run up to exams. They had asked her what was wrong, of course they had, but she never gave a satisfactory answer, it was always "I'm just tired" or "Snape's homework is going to be difficult," but they knew that these weren't what was troubling her. They just didn't know what else to say.   
  
Hermione was a mess, as could probably be expected. Despite occasionally seeing his eyes as they passed on the way to classes, she was also tormented by the fact that she couldn't talk to Harry and Ron, especially when they were so concerned about her. She was embarrassed, if someone saw she had a weak side...she felt like she'd somehow be letting everyone down if she told them, oh Hermione with the good grades...but that would happen anyway, whether she told people or not because she knew she wasn't revising enough for exams. This is why she was to be found now, in the library, late at night, trying to concentrate on the book before her. But she couldn't focus on the words on the page...the events of the past month or so kept playing in her head...since the second time, he had tried to do it again, twice, but each time he had been interrupted by something or someone and had to leave her. This still haunted her as much as anything, he knew he had her in his control, he knew she'd never tell.  
  
She sighed and closed the book, and reached for another one which she had piled on the table. She opened it at the appropriate chapter and tried to read. She didn't notice a figure coming into the room and standing over her.  
  
"Hello Hermione! Fancy seeing you here." He spat.  
  
Hermione jumped at his voice. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was that stood behind her chair. Her stomach curled in as he put his hands on her head briefly, before taking a seat next to her. He dragged the seat closer to her and turned it a little to face her. She was frozen to the spot. "No, please no, please." she shakily whispered, making him laugh.   
  
"Awww, little Hermione's scared! Scared! Of big old me! hahaha! How's the revision going?" He asked, as he placed his hand on her leg. Hermione stiffened, petrified. He moved his hand, stroking her leg, loving how uncomfortable he was making her. He reached to the edge of her skirt and laughed again at her shudder when his hand touched her bare skin.   
  
He withdrew his hand quickly at the sound of the door opening. Hermione's heart jumped, so relieved and thankful to whoever had just come in. It was Ginny.  
  
"Hey Hermione!" She started. "Ron was ask....HERMIONE!" She yelled in anger as she saw him, still leaning over her, but with his hands hovering away from her. Hermione was relieved. Shocked, still, that someone else knew, but relieved that it was Ginny, and that she had stopped him. She wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled at Ginny.  
  
Ginny couldn't believe her eyes. "You...you little SLUT!" She yelled, taking Hermione by surprise. "All along...that's why you dumped Ron, wasn't it? You were cheating on him with this...this...I'm surprised at you Hermione." She finished, with her nose turned up and walked out, almost knocking over two second years who were coming in. Hermione was frozen to the spot, and tears fell from her cheeks. He just smirked at her, irritated, and walked away.  
  
When she finally retreated to the common room fifteen minutes later, she was met with Harry, Ginny and Ron. Her heart fell. Ginny had the wrong idea, she was so far from the truth, but Hermione couldn't tell her that. She dreaded to think what was coming.  
  
"Yeah, oh there she is." Ginny said, arms folded.  
  
"Gin, calm down." Ron said, putting a hand on her arm. "You're probably...you're probably exaggerating things!" He said, trying to keep calm as he stared at Hermione, wishing it all to be untrue.  
  
"I'm not. Go on Hermione. Tell him. You were cheating on Ron and that's why you dumped him! Don't lie to me, I saw you two in the library just five minutes ago!"  
  
Hermione didn't know what to say. It didn't count as cheating, did it? She had been with someone else...no, no. She thought, don't be silly. Still, she was faced with three very expectant faces.  
  
"Ginny...I...I...you don't..." She stammered.  
  
"Hermione, is this true?" Ron asked, now looking very worried.  
  
"I, um...yes. I cheated on you, Ron. I'm...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The words fell out, and she kicked herself mentally for saying them. She'd never dream of cheating on Ron, but now there she was 'admitting' it.  
  
"There!" Ginny said, triumphant. "I told you. The little slut." She finished, as she watched Hermione walk slowly towards the girl's dorms. Ron, however, watched her in a different light. It had seemed so out of character that Hermione would cheat...and he saw how upset she was right now, as she closed the door to her dorm. He wasn't sure who to believe. He believed Ginny that she had seen Hermione with someone else in the library...but couldn't believe that she had cheated...but if she hadn't, and this was a new boyfriend, she'd have surely told him and Harry?  
  
"Harry...did you know anything about this?" He asked.  
  
"No, Ron. I didn't." He said, putting his arm on Ron's shoulder.  
  
Meanwhile, Hermione sat on her bed. The rest of the girl's were asleep. She lay back and stared towards the ceiling. Things were just so much worse. It was bad enough that she had been...she sighed...raped. Twice. And abused. But now Ginny hated her, and Ron and Harry were bound to start hating her soon too. She felt so alone. 


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4.**  
  
The next day was horrible. Harry and Ron were hardly speaking to her...no wonder, they wouldn't know what to think. And, as she sat beside them, or near them, in most of her classes, she couldn't escape the awkwardness, not to mention the growls she got from Ginny when they passed in the corridors, or at mealtimes in the Great Hall. And by now even her teachers were noticing her lack of interest in her work. Professor McGonnagall stopped her at the end of transfiguration.  
  
"Miss Granger, can I have a word?" She asked, as she watched the last of the class leave through the door. She lead her to the front of the classroom. Hermione just stood there, looking at the ground.  
  
"I really have to get to Potions, Professor." she said.  
  
"Hermione, are you alright?" she asked softly. "You're work has dropped, you got 57% in the test I set you last week."  
  
Hermione's stomach fell at the news. "I...I'm sorry, Professor. I've...umm...I've been revising alot for my other subjects this year. I...I guess I thought I could get away without revising transfiguration."  
  
"Well, clearly not, Granger." She replied. "Are you sure that's all?"  
  
"Yes, Proffessor." Hermione answered uncertainly.  
  
"Well...if this is all you're going to tell me. I'll take it as that. Now hurry along now, you don't want to be too late for Proffessor Snape."  
  
-----  
  
That night, Hermione sat in the common room once again, alone. Her mind...or the dim lighting in the room...was playing tricks on her, she kept seeing moving shadows on the walls...she kept thinking he was approaching her again, she could almost hear his breath behind her, and his laugh. Everything played in her head, over and over again, as it had since that first fateful night. Ron's face, disappointed and confused...Ginny's accusations.....McGonnagall's concern...tears fell once again down her already tear-stained cheeks. She couldn't take much more. No one was talking to her, all her friend's thought she had cheated on Ron...as Ginny had soon spread the word...everyone whispered to their friends when they saw her in the corridors...the teachers were shouting at her for not working..."This is no life," she thought to herself, as she got up. She didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to get out. She ran out of the common room, turned a corner, and ran right into...him. She froze and stared up at him.  
  
"Well Well Well! Look who we have here! Looking for me, were you?" He snarled.  
  
"Leave. Me. Alone." She shot, not knowing where this new strength was coming from.  
  
"Oh." He said, taken aback by her speaking back to him. "Oh, no, we can't have this!" He said, and he put his hands round her head and brought her to his face, while she struggled under his grip. He lowered his face to hers and put his lips on hers.  
  
"No...no!" She struggled to break free. She didn't want this to happen again. She couldn't let it. He had already stolen her boyfriend...now she had lost Ron as a friend...and he had stolen her other friends from her too. All the hate for him built up. In one movement, she raised her arm and punched him in the face, making him stagger back, but one hand was still on her head. She lifted her leg and kicked him...hard, right where it hurts, and left him doubled over and groaning as she continued running.  
  
Tears running down her cheeks, she ran up the stairs, nearly colliding with Fred and George who were coming the opposite way.  
  
"Hey Hermione! Watch out!" Fred laughed. "Hey...what's up?" He added, as he noticed her distress, but she kept on running. She ran up another floor, now exhausted. She tripped on the last step and collapsed on the cold, stone floor, sobbing her heart out. She flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "No, no, get off me...don't touch me!" She yelled out, batting the hand away. She thought it was him. "No, no, stop it, stop it!" She said, head in her arms, lying on the floor, crying.   
  
"Hermione, Hermione, Hey!" It was George's voice. She looked up, relived and embarrassed to see the twins standing there.  
  
"OH, Fred, George...I'm so sorry...I thought...I thought..." but she collapsed in tears once again. She no longer cared whether they saw her weakness.  
  
George took her in his arms and hugged her. She didn't raise her arms to hug him back, but she didn't pull away this time. For the first time in what felt like a long time, she felt safe. Fred came up and hugged her as well from the other side.  
  
"Now, you have to tell us what's happened to our little Hermione to make her so upset!" Fred said, innocently, as she flinched at the name 'Little Hermione'  
  
"I'm No-One's 'Little Hermione'" She spat at him, pulling away.  
  
"Sorry." He said quickly. They both stared at her, they were also sitting on the floor now. "Hermione," George started after a while's silence. "Who's done this. Who's said something, or...done something to make you so upset? What's happened?"  
  
His caring voice made the tears come again. It was the first time someone had tried to be nice in a long time, Harry and Ron had stopped asking after a while, after getting the same answers all the time, and they hadn't spoken to her much since Ginny told them about the library.  
  
"No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine." She said, standing up and smoothing down her skirt. She wiped her eyes. "I'm...I'm going to go for a bath." She said, donning the same false smile she had used on Harry and Ron so many times, although this time, she didn't think it had worked quite as well on the twins. They looked at eachother.  
  
"Well, Ok. But you have to promise to talk to us later." Fred added hesitantly.  
  
"I will, I will." And she ran off to the prefects bathroom before they could say another word. The hug had made her feel better...but also made her feel worse, she hated the attention she was getting, all because of him. Because he had raped her. At the thought of that word she started crying again. She looked around the bathroom. There were a row of sinks on the wall to her left, cast in porcelain tiles. They looked so clean, so pure...the opposite of how she felt. She walked over to examine them in more detail. There was a bar of soap by each sink and a small glass, for water when brushing teeth, she thought. She looked up and caught her reflection. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her hair was a mess, and he cheeks were tear stained. She turned on the tap and filled her hands with water and splashed her face. She looked at the little glass and filled it too, taking a long drink, feeling the cool water going down her throat. She stared at her reflection. "I Hate You." she said to the mirror. "I. HATE YOU." She yelled. In sudden rage, she flung the glass to the mirror, where it shattered and left small flecks of water. The mirror remained uncracked. She stared at herself, as if the glass had awoken another side of her.  
  
She walked over to the bathtub and filled it, walking around it in circles as it filled. She started taking off her clothes, with new determination. When she was left standing in her underwear, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror once more, and smirked. His Smirk. She laughed at that. His laugh too. With still her underwear on, she climbed into the water. It was only warm, not as hot as it had been last time. She felt like she should be crying again, but there were no tears left. She surprised herself to find that she was laughing hyseterically. All the crying, and the fact that she had not eaten all day made her dizzy. The laughing had given her a headache. She was also physically shattered, from lack of sleep, the nightmares kept coming back. She felt herself loosing conciousness and slip down into the water. She smiled with the last of her energy...finally, she was going to be at peace, finally she could be happy. She laughed in her head...it had been this simple all along, yet she had chosen to suffer all these weeks. If only he could see her now, finally taking control, not weak little Hermione. Happy Hermione, she thought, as all her senses left her and everything became dark. Happy Hermione. 


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter 5.**  
  
Fred and George had not been convinced, however, when she had left them to go for her bath.  
  
"Do you think she's going to be ok?" Fred asked.  
  
"I don't know, I really don't know. She looked really upset, really upset."  
  
"Should we go after her? I don't think she does plan to talk to us later."  
  
"Well, she may feel better after her bath." George commented, as they began to walk towards the common room. "Girl's tend to do that."  
  
"Yeah. I'm not so sure." Fred added.   
  
"You know...about what Ginny said..." Fred started. "I don't believe it...I can't imagine it...there's got to be something else going on."  
  
"Yeah, Ginny's probably got totally the wrong side of something, as usual." George finished, just as they passed the prefect's bathroom, of which the door was slightly ajar. They heard a voice yelling, but they couldn't hear the words. Then they heard the smash of glass. They looked at each other. "You think we should?" Fred asked.  
  
"Well, let's wait out here for a bit, whoever's in there may come out soon. We don't want to walk in on anyone naked, or on the toilet." George concluded.  
  
"Good point."  
  
So they waited outside. "Hey, wait a minute, that could be Hermione." George said after quite a while.  
  
"No, that's the prefects bathroom..."  
  
"Well, she said she was going for a bath, and if it was just someone in for the toilet, they'd be out by now...And there was the scream...and the glass..."  
  
"That's it." Fred said and walked over to the door. "I'm going in." George followed. What they saw is a sight they would never have hoped to see in their lives.  
  
"HERMIONE!" They yelled together at the still body lying at the bottom of the bath. They rushed over to the side and knelt down, pulling her out of the water and lying her on the tiles, soaking the floor.  
  
"Hermione, Hermione, HERMIONE!" Fred yelled, shaking her. He sat her limp body up and hugged her tightly, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh Hermione. Why, why? Why did you do this to yourself? Wake up, wake up!" he cried into her already wet hair.  
  
George put his arm round Fred. "Come on, we'd better get her to the hospital wing." He said shakily.  
  
------  
  
They had covered her in George's jumper and carried her to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey took her. They pleaded to stay with her, but Madam Pomfrey ushered them out, telling them that Hermione would be ok now and that they should get some sleep. They grudgingly left and set back towards Gryffindor Common Room.   
  
"What do we tell the others?" George said. More to himself than Fred.  
  
Fred said nothing and they walked into the common room. Ron and Harry were still up, but apart from them the room was empty, it was nearly 11.30pm.   
  
"What's up with you two?" Harry asked. "Got busted planting dungbombs in Snape's office?" He laughed.  
  
Fred sat down and stared at Harry, a few tears falling from his eyes. George went over and sat in the last free seat.  
  
"Wow, Fred.." Ron laughed nervously.  
  
"Ron, Harry, what's been upsetting Hermione. Did one of you two say something? Why did you upset her? Why, why? What has she ever done to you? Why were you not talking to her?" George flustered.  
  
"Hey, we've done noth...what's going on?" Harry asked.  
  
"Hermione's in the hospital wing." Fred said simply.  
  
"What?" Ron asked, panicked.  
  
"She's in the hospital wing. She ran into us, she was upset...then...then...we found her...just lying there, so lifeless...If only we hadn't let her go, if only we'd forced her to talk to us...if only we didn't wait so long..." George said, putting his head in his hands.  
  
"What are you saying? What did she do?" Harry asked slowly.  
  
"Harry she tried to drown herself in the bath. It was obvious. And we let it happen. She came to us...and we let it happen."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ron turned to his brothers, the former part of their sentence not quite sunk in yet.  
  
"She ran into us, very upset, crying, talking about someone, but she didn't want to tell us. She said she was going for a bath...and...and we let her...and...this is all our fault. We could have stopped her, but we didn't. We let her do this...." George tailed off while Fred remained silent, staring into the fire.  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't your faul..." Harry started, but Ron interrupted him.  
  
"You let her? You saw she was upset, and you just let her nearly die? Thanks alot guys. I want to go and see her!" He stood up.  
  
"Ron, don't get mad at them, how were they to know she was going to do this? Calm down." Harry said.   
  
"You can't see her, Madam Pomfrey kicked us out." Fred said.  
  
Ron sat back down and put his head in his hands. "I still love her, did I ever mention that? I still bloody love her. She was so upset when she dumped me...I was so confused...and then Ginny told me she had been cheating on me...I didn't know what to think. I don't believe she did, but she's been so...wierd lately, don't tell me you haven't noticed. Something's happened that she's not telling us. But what could be so bad she can't tell us? We're meant to be her best friends." He looked at Harry.  
  
"I don't know Ron, I just don't know." He stared into space. And thats how the four boys stayed, staring, thinking, until 2.30am when George suggested they'd better get to bed, which they all agreed to, they were all somehow shattered, news like that tends to have that effect. They all went to bed, but none of them slept. Fred and George were still haunted by the image of Hermione lying in the bath, lifeless...Fred could still feel her cold, breathless body against his when he had held her...Harry was scared and concerned...lying in the dark a few tears escaped his cheeks. He loved her so much, he didn't know what he could do without her....he could hear Ron crying too...Harry knew Ron still loved her, partly because he had told him that everyday since they had broken up...and partly because it was so obvious, but he was trying to be strong and not let it affect him, as she clearly didn't feel the same anymore. 


	6. Chapter 6

** Chapter 6.  
_  
_**_AN...Just a short chapter..._  
  
The next day, Fred, George, Harry and Ron went to the hospital wing to see Hermione. Madam Pomfrey was persuaded to let them in, but insisted that they don't stay too long and that she "Really doesn't need visitors at the moment...she needs sleep!".  
  
They approached her bed, Ron's face fell when he saw her. It wasn't Hermione...the lifeless, slightly blue body lying on the bed...it wasn't the bright and warm Hermione he knew and loved. She looked empty and cold...things she just...that just didn't fit. The four slowly approached the unconscious girl's bedside as Madam Pomfrey fussed round her, straightening her pillows and tucking in her sheets.   
  
"You've ten minutes, boys." She told them. The twins and Harry smiled at her thankfully, as Ron sat down beside Hermione and took her hand.  
  
"She...she's so cold." He said, and his face crumpled. "Oh Hermione!" He clutched her hand to his chest and kissed it. Fred put his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"How...how is she?" Harry asked Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"I found a spell to remove the water from her lungs quite succesfully...her body's re-adjusting now, It's up to her now. Don't worry...she's a fighter, she's going to be ok. We got her just in time...but she should make a slow, but full recovery." She said, smiling sympathetically at them, and shuffled over to fuss over another patient at the other side of the ward...a broken leg, Harry saw. How simple, he thought.  
  
The boys stayed by her side for a while longer, until Madam Pomfrey ushered them out. Ron was reluctant to leave her, and grasped her hand tightly one last time and kissed her forehead before he left.  
  
They returned the next day, as soon as Madam Pomfrey allowed them, and resumed their positions by her bedside. Some of Hermione's colour had returned, and she looked a bit more 'normal' than the day before.  
  
"It's horrible," Ron started, "But she looks so peaceful."  
  
"Yeah." Harry replied simply, staring at her.   
  
After half an hour or so, Ron rested his head on the edge of her bed, still clutching to her hand, and shut his eyes. Harry smiled at him, and he was sure he saw a single tear escape the corner of his eye. He looked over at the twins, who were looking down at the floor, occasionally lifting their head back up to check on her.  
  
Harry turned his head, for Ron had lifted his head sharply.  
  
"Her hand...it moved!" He whispered. They all looked to her hand, her fingers were wriggling slowly between Ron's. He put his other hand over it too. "Hermione!" He whispered to her. A sigh of relief sank through the four boys as her eyes flickered open. They weren't Hermione's eyes though, they were grey, and empty looking, not the vibrant pools of brown that they usually were, so full of love and warmth.  
  
"Hey, Hermione!" Ron beamed at her.  
  
"Hey..." She croaked.  
  
Harry couldn't help it, he beamed at Ron and, without warning, tears flowed softly down his cheeks. She was alive, she was going to be ok! He sniffed and looked round at the twins, they were smiling and crying too. He looked back at Ron, who was looking at Hermione with tears in his eyes.  
  
"We thought we'd lost you...you scared us, Hermione!" He sniffed.  
  
Hermione attempted a small smile, but her face recoiled and she crumpled her nose and forehead in that cute way that Ron loved.  
  
"My head..." she breathed, slowley pulling her hand to her brow.  
  
Madam Pomfrey rushed over. "Hermione, dear! How are you feeling? Does your head hurt? Aah, I expected that. Now...you boys...off with you. Miss Granger needs sleep."  
  
"But she's just woke up!" Ron protested, wiping his eyes.  
  
"Out!" She said, and the four reluctantly left her, in a slightly better mood than when they had left the night before. Harry put his arm round Ron's shoulders as they trooped back to the common room.  
  
"She's going to be all right, she's going to be all right." He smiled.  
  
"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" Ron smiled back, and they entered through the portrait hole, Fred and George behind them. 


	7. Chapter 7

** Chapter 7**.  
  
After a few day's rest, and visits from Dumbledore and McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey finally let Hermione out, much to the glee of Fred, George, Harry and Ron. She sat up in bed and got to her feet a little unsteadily.  
  
"Now, remember, rest, Hermione! Nothing too exhausting. You've made a wonderfully quick recovery, but you still need to take things easy. You're just lucky this is the last week of term and you can go home soon. Dumbledore has told your parents...just that you had an accident, but he didn't tell them...any more...they're very worried, young lady. But I've told them I won't have you travelling on a train just yet. I'm sure these four will take good care of you." Madam Pomfrey added, smiling at the boys.   
  
"Thank you." Hermione added, to all of them. The boys all took her arms and lead her slowly to the common room. They helped her through the portrait hole and sat her in a seat by the fire.   
  
"How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you anything?" Ron fussed over her.  
  
"No, I'm ok." She replied, quietly. The memories had begun flooding back to her. Memories of why she was in the hospital wing...although she couldn't remember much after...was it the bathroom? The question was answered for her as she saw her eyes, staring at herself in that mirror, laughing with...with his laugh...she remembered the first attack...the second...and it all overwhelmed her. She put her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
"Hey hey!" Harry said, and rushed over beside her, putting his arm around her. "It's ok...shh...shh."  
  
"That's it Harry, It's not...it's not...I'm sorry...I'm sorry I did this to you all...I never...I never meant to upset you all...I just..."  
  
"Shhh." they all hugged her. "It's ok...it'll all be ok...we're here for you...and we're never leaving you. We're always here Hermione, remember that." Harry said, hugging her tightly.  
  
Hermione hated this...she hated that everyone was being so nice to her...when she couldn't tell them...she couldn't tell them why she was upset...and she had been so selfish...she had to go and do that and make them waste a few days worrying about her....his just made her cry even more, which tightened the many arms that were around her, but all the crying was giving her another headache, and she was still tired.  
  
"I'm...I'm going to go to bed guys. My head hurts." She sniffed, wiping at her eyes.  
  
"Well...alright." Ron said. "But, you need anything, let us know, we'll be right there."  
  
"Thanks, Ron." She said, and hugged him. "Thanks to all of you." She smiled a watery smile, and turned for the girls' dorms.   
  
The boys hadn't slept much recently either. "I'm tired too." Fred yawned. They all nodded in agreement, and soon set off for the boys dorms too.  
  
----  
  
Three days later, and they were all setting off on the train home for the summer. Harry was lucky this year, Vernon had got some sort of big a bonus at work, and was taking Petunia and Dudley on a package holiday to Spain for three weeks, so Harry got to spend the summer at Ron's. They waited for Hermione in the common room, and when she appeared, Fred and George immediately took her bags.  
  
"Thanks, guys." She smiled. She really was thankful to have such great friends...but she didn't feel like a very good friend herself. Friendship was based on trust, and truth...but how could that be true, if she couldn't bear to tell any of them what had troubled her so. Did it void their friendship? They had tried to speak to her, tried to get her to open up, but she just couldn't. She didn't know why. Partly, perhaps, because she was ashamed, but...there was something else that held her back, she didn't know what.  
  
On the train, they looked for an empty compartment. Fred stopped outside one, with only two people in it. "How about in here, everywhere else looks full." He said. Hermione looked into that compartment, inside were two boys laughing, she saw who they were...one of them was...him...he looked round and met her eyes, and for the first time, he didn't smirk. The redness in his cheeks from laughing dropped and he turned white, and spun his head to look out of the window, much to the confusion of his friend.  
  
"Umm…I think there might be some empty compartments up ahead, can we check first?" Hermione asked. She couldn't share the long train ride with him near her. Even though she'd be spared his piercing stare and that smirk...she just couldn't bear to look at him.  
  
"Ok." Fred said simply and moved on, not noticing anything. They found an empty compartment a few doors down.   
  
"Aaah, perfect." He smiled. "Hermione...right once again!" He said as he pushed through the door and settled the cases. Hermione sat by the window and watched the other students getting on the train, as the crowd outside thinned, and the train began to move. Ron sat beside her, and asked if she was alright every five minutes, to which the reply was always "Yeah, I'm fine," with a smile.  
  
Quite a few hours later, they were approaching the station. Hermione was shifting awkwardly in her seat.  
  
"What's up?" Ron asked.  
  
"Mum and dad." was all Hermione replied. Ron put his arm around her, he knew what she meant...she had to face her parents and tell them she had...she had attempted suicide. He cringed at the word in his head, and looked at Hermione, who was staring out of the window blankly.  
  
When the train finally stopped, they got their things and left the train, to be met on the platform by Mr and Mrs Weasley, who were standing talking to Mr and Mrs Granger...Mrs Weasley was hugging Mrs Granger, who was clearly upset. When she saw Hermione approaching her, she turned to stare at her, confused. From what she had been told, her daughter had had an accident, but that was all she knew...but she had a feeling it was pretty serious and they just weren't telling her. She stared at her daughter, who looked perfectly normal, except a bit tired, there were no bandages, no casts...  
  
"Hermione!" She cried and ran to her, hugging her tightly, quickly joined by Mr Granger. "What's...what happened? You look ok...What were you in the hospital for?" She asked her, concerned.  
  
Hermione looked to Harry and Ron. "I'll explain later, mum." She said in a small voice. Ron came over and hugged her.  
  
"Aaah, Ron!" Mr Granger smiled. "Still Hogwarts' perfect little couple?"   
  
"Um, dad...we broke up." Hermione said.  
  
"Oh...right..." Mr Granger said, clearly embarrassed. "Well...lovely to see you again." He said, and outstretched his hand to Ron.  
  
"Yeah." Ron said, shaking his hand, but his mind was on Hermione.  
  
"Come on, we'd better get going." Mrs Weasley announced to the group.  
  
They started to head outside to the car park, when Fred, George, Harry and Ron took Hermione aside.  
  
"We're sorry we can't be there for you this time...you need to do this alone." Harry said, of Hermione telling her parents. "But keep in touch. Come and see us sometime before term starts!"  
  
"Yeah...I will...and, guys...thanks, for everything."  
  
"Not a problem." Ron said, and they group-hugged her again.  
  
"I love you all." Hermione said, and she meant it.   
  
"We love you too!" They all said at once, making Hermione beam.  
  
"See you soon." She said, and trotted off to her parents, and the Weasleys and Harry caught up with Mr and Mrs Weasley. Mr Weasley had borrowed a car from the ministry, again.   
  
They reached the burrow and sighed at the normality they were returning to...and their thoughts went to Hermione, and how she would feel back at her own 'normality', and having to face her parents. They all wished they could be there when she did, but she had to do this one alone. Ron was happy, that things were finally settling down, and that she had him, Harry and the twins to help her along the way. Sure, she had recovered quickly, physically, but mentally....that would take much longer. 


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter 8.  
**  
Harry and Ron awoke one dull morning.   
  
"Trust bloody Britain...it's meant to be summer, and look!" He pointed out of the window, exasperated. "Black clouds!"  
  
Harry just smiled at him and started to get dressed. They headed downstairs, hungry for breakfast, and done a double take as they saw the Grangers sitting in the kitchen, both had cups of tea...untouched. Hermione wasn't with them. A feeling...Harry couldn't describe it...dropped like a stone in his stomach and he looked at Ron, who, by the looks of it, felt the same. Mrs Granger was crying, Mrs Weasley was sitting beside her, hugging her. It looked like Mrs Granger had been crying for a long time. She stood up at the sight of Harry and Ron.  
  
"Oh Harry...Ron..." She started, before collapsing in tears again. Mrs Weasley reached for her, but she shrugged her off and wiped her face with a tissue. She walked towards them and stood in front of them. She looked like a helpless little girl...a lot like Hermione did sometimes, especially after she started changing, a few months ago...  
  
"M...M...Mrs G..Granger?" Harry stammered, now extremely panicked, Ron just stared at her in silence.  
  
"Where's Hermione?" Ron breathed suddenly, causing Mrs Granger to cry again, which summoned Mr Granger to her side, hugging her.  
  
"TELL ME WHERE IS HERMIONE!" Ron shouted.  
  
"Ron!" Mrs Weasley shot him a glance just as Fred and George walked down the stairs with Ginny.  
  
"What's going on?" George asked, looking from the crying Mrs Granger, to Harry and Ron, to their mother.  
  
Harry stared at the Grangers, horribly suspicious...but not believing at the same time.  
  
Mr Granger spoke to them, words that they didn't want to hear. "Hermione...our darling little Hermione...shh dear." He added to his wife, who let out a howl at the mention of Hermione's name. "H...she...she told us what happened...why she was in hospital at school..." he began. "Of course, we were frantic, hugging her, and loving her...we loved her as every parent should love their child." He glanced at Mrs Weasley, who nodded and cast eyes over all her present children. "She...she became more withdrawn...and...and...a week after she came home...two days ago...I...I'm sorry." He apologised, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Hermione..." He sighed again. He couldn't bring himself to say the words, couldn't find any appropriate. "Hermione..."  
  
"Just say it." Ron tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper.  
  
"She's gone." He said simply, and the tears literally poured from his eyes as he hugged his wife tighter. "She's gone." Their clothes were soaked with their tears. "We...we wanted to tell you in person. She loved you two so much. There couldn't be better friends for her." He added to Harry and Ron.  
  
Ron sank down onto the floor, staring, unbelieving. 'He's Lying!' 'Liar!', he wanted to shout out, but he knew it was true...although he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want it to be true. He covered his face and the tears flowed from his eyes.  
  
"HERMIONE!" He screamed. "HERMIONE! NO! No! No!" He cried. Harry jumped down beside him and hugged him, crying too. Fred, George and Ginny were still standing in shock at the bottom of the stairs, tears silently running down Ginny's stony face. Mr Weasley was hugging a crying Mrs Weasley...it was some sight.   
  
"Hermione!" Ron croaked. "Hermione."  
  
---------  
  
Mrs Weasley couldn't let the Granger's leave, she forced them to stay and have lots of tea. They were continually surprised by the Weasley's pots stirring themselves...the fascinating clock on the wall...random objects moving...they were still a little intimidated by the wizarding world. Harry and Ron never found out how they had managed to contact the Weasleys, let alone find their house...but those sorts of questions were too trivial. They slowly learned, through many tears, that Hermione had hung herself in her bedroom, and was found by Mrs Granger. "No parent should have to witness that." She had sobbed. "She never even...we never even knew why. Did...did she tell you anything?" Mr Granger had asked Ron and Harry many times, but they were just as lost as they were.   
  
The Burrow held a tense silence for the two days the Grangers stayed, and for some long time after. A silence that was unusual, in a house which was usually so bright and lively, with lots of people rushing about. Ron and Harry spent most of their time lying in bed, not sleeping, just staring into space, and occasionally thinking or crying. Finally, after the two days, Mrs Granger said that they should be getting home, to...sort things out, for her funeral. They looked positively terrified as Mr Weasley drove them home in the new flying car he had acquired, after Ron and Harry had destroyed the first one.  
  
That night, when Ron had somehow dropped off to sleep, he saw Hermione's face, laughing and smiling at him, her eyes so...so alive...he could smell her perfume, hear her giggles as they joked about in the sunny Hogwarts grounds...but suddenly there was a snap, and the rain poured down, lightning sparked, and her skin became grey, and her eyes faded into grey-white pools, and the laughter was replaced by her screaming, screaming...screaming, when Ron suddenly woke up, soaked through with sweat. He could still hear the screaming, and he realised that it was Harry, sitting up in bed, obviously in a nightmare too. The screaming stopped as Harry had woken himself up. Ron got out of bed and sat down beside Harry, and hugged him. And they hugged in the night, tears falling once more. How were they ever going to survive without Hermione? 


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter 9.**  
  
_AN...Song is "The Rose." By Bette Middler._  
  
It had been two weeks since they had learned of Hermione's death, and now, nearing the end of July, Harry and Ron stood in the kitchen of the Burrow, waiting for Ginny. They were in uncomfortable black trousers and shirts. It wasn't the clothes that were uncomfortable...just the whole day. The fact that they should be wearing black clothes at all. A few minutes later, Ginny came downstairs in a black dress and joined everyone else in the kitchen, and they went outside. It was a warm day, sunny, but not too hot, with a slight breeze...just as Hermione liked it, Harry thought. Mr Weasley had asked the Minister for special permission to set up a portkey, and they stood round it now, an old chipped mug. As they all placed a finger on it, Ron noticed that there was a rose on it, worn away by time. Just at that, he felt the now-familiar tug from his navel, as the portkey took them to their destination.  
  
They were in a small garden enclosed by apple trees. Harry looked at the Weasleys...this didn't seem right...all of them dressed in black, their vibrant hair even more pronounced against their clothes. Mrs Weasley put her arms around Harry and Ron and gave them a quick hug before rounding up the rest of them. As they walked out, they realised that the small garden was just a corner of the big gardens at the church. The church itself was...it was beautiful. Even Harry, who didn't really care much for the beauty of things before these past few weeks, marvelled at it, with the little cherubs carved into the red stone at it's peaks, and a circular stained-glass window above the door, and the bushes and flowers which lined the path to the steps at the entrance. It was a perfect day, all the flowers were in bloom, and...the setting just looked so beautiful. Harry didn't like that, it was like the Earth was so happy. He couldn't understand how anyone could be happy anymore.  
  
They walked in and sat through the service, crying many times. There weren't many people there, Mr and Mrs Granger had only wanted it to be small, just family, but, of course, the Weasleys...and Harry were an exception. After the service, they all stood round the open grave while the priest read out a small prayer. Harry hated this part...everyone staring at her white coffin...her body just inches below the surface of the wood...he felt it was degrading to her...although she...although she was...he couldn't even think the word.   
  
Music started playing in the background as the priest finished.  
_  
Some say love, it is a river  
that drowns the tender reed.  
Some say love, it is a razor  
that leaves your soul to bleed.  
Some say love, it is a hunger,  
an endless aching need.  
I say love, it is a flower,  
and you its only seed._  
  
Mrs Granger slowly walked up to the grave and placed a white rose on the coffin. 'Her favourite...' Harry thought. She stepped back into the crowd, crying into Mr Granger's shoulder. Tears were rolling down Ron's cheeks. He couldn't help it. He used to hate crying, it was a 'girl's thing', but now he had stopped caring, he had cried so much in the last few weeks. What made it worse is that they didn't know why. Why. Why she would do this to herself. What would be so bad she couldn't tell him about it, or Harry, or her parents...anyone. Would it have helped? If he had been more persistent in asking her after....after the first time...would she have told him? Would he have helped, would that have made it better?…Would it have stopped her?  
_  
It's the heart afraid of breaking  
that never learns to dance.  
It's the dream afraid of waking  
that never takes the chance.  
It's the one who won't be taken,  
who cannot seem to give,  
and the soul afraid of dyin'  
that never learns to live._  
  
The song continued, as the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground, and men shoveled mud ontop of it. Ron wanted to scream at them to stop it, it was horrible, chucking mud onto the beautiful white coffin...onto his beautiful Hermione. He disolved in tears again, and felt his mothers arms wrap around him. "Goodbye." He whispered. "I love you, Hermione." He looked down at the last patch of white on her coffin before it was covered with mud. "I love you."  
_  
When the night has been too lonely  
and the road has been to long,  
and you think that love is only  
for the lucky and the strong,  
just remember in the winter  
far beneath the bitter snows  
lies the seed that with the sun's love  
in the spring becomes the rose._


End file.
